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Jan 10, 2018

Show 2040 Why Men Do The Things They Do, with Alison Armstrong

This ACU show consists of 2 segments from the FSL Modern channel.

We start with part 2 followed by part 1. Both parts are very worthwhile however part 2 consists of great insights in understanding men that we want to make sure our ACU audience does not miss.  

FSL Modern

Why Men Do The Things They Do, with Alison Armstrong. Part 2

Ever sit around with your girlfriends and talk about all those things that drive you nuts about your man??? This episode is absolutely hilarious as Alison puts all those pesky behaviors into perspective and teaches us exactly how to understand and what to do to have a happy relationship with men. It is shock full of great information and tips we can put into action immediately and improve our relationship with the men in our lives and receive what we need and expect from them. This is Part 2 of a 2-part series to Understanding Men and Understanding Women, so make sure to listen in on Part 1, Become the Confident, Happy Woman You’re Meant to Be. Men 101- What do we need to know to successfully be in relationship with men? Most men are hunting most of the time. They are focused, committed, goal oriented, experience support and appreciation as it relates on what they’re focused on. Timing is everything because of their focus. If you want to connect with a man ask him what he’s focused on; what is important to him now. Some of the ways we can get to know our sons is asking what they’re focused on. Women crave intimacy and they don’t know that men crave intimacy as well. And intimacy has everything to do with being seen. Ask the question: how can I support you? It means EVERYTHING to them. For men, there is a limitation to energy, time, resources, connections, respect, everything. Whereas women don’t think we have limits especially in energy. So everything is about a return on investment to men. This is confusing to women because we try to get men to do the things women want them to do. It’s frustrating because women don’t realize men are calculating ROI. Men will calculate what is the value of the result…not what needs to get done, but the value of what needs to get done. If they do something for you, what else will they not do? What time, energy and other resources will be used up? “What difference will it make?” is what men ask themselves to decide if something is worth doing. How do we come together with men? Alison is getting us the latest and greatest on this! She just filmed the latest on her Queen’s Code workshop and this is some of the info in it! Both men and women think their view of the world is correct…forever. Men actually need to do nothing to build testosterone and keep the energy to go out and conquer the world. So do nothing, sit on the couch, sleep and have nothing to do. It’s a cycle of building and spending testosterone. If we don’t honor it, our man will feel weak to us, and women will sense this weakness and we will feel burdened and feared. We will question if we need this man in our life, and it will happen if we don’t let him build and spend his testosterone as it is mean to be. Can you see the vicious cycle? What we need to do is honor our differences instead of expecting the other to be like us! When we see him sitting on the couch, we need to find that sexy. We as women putter around the house, put things away and do everything we want to do, and we give ourselves a deadline. And we become a better me when we’re done. We keep trying to get men to do things to be like they should be. We keep trying to get them to invest in zero ROI. Not going to happen! To women who think we have unlimited energy and time, if it gets us to zero ROI, it’s OK for us women. Men don’t believe on acting on feelings. They are an insufficient motivators for them. Men spend their whole lives training themselves to not act on feelings, but facts. Facts are observable, feelings are not. Facts are information from trusted sources. Becoming a trusted source is the game in interacting with men in all contexts!! How does this happen? This is the SECRET ladies!! The short version is how you become a trusted source is when the words and the feelings match. And this is what they are incredibly sensitive to. If you say thank you and they don’t feel the appreciation, that is insincere to them and it will not register. To become your man’s trusted source, to get to the source of their sensitivity: Say what you mean and mean what you say. Consistency. When we change our mind, we erode their trust. It’s best to say we can’t answer their question at the moment, or we have not decided, than to blurt something out just to change our mind later. Listen in on our amazing interview with Alison. We can’t express enough how helpful this interview will be to improving your relationship with men. We can write up all about it, but listening to her speak it is priceless. If you are interested in fully understanding yourself and/or understanding men, we HIGHLY recommend Alison’s programs. Jennifer has taken her course a couple of years ago and it transformed her... Published on Aug 16, 2017


Why Men Do The Things They Do, with Alison Armstrong. Part1

FSL Modern

Successful, smart and ready for love? Then listen in now! We often times think, WHY is it that men are wonderful in the beginning and then change? What if we told you that men are responding to women? This episode is for all the ladies out there who want to understand men. But before we understand men, we have to understand ourselves! We had an A-MA-ZING time chatting with Alison Armstrong, author of The Queen’s Code. In this episode you will learn how to shift your perspective, cherish yourself and learn relationship tools for smart and successful women. This is part 1 of a 2 part series with Alison Armstrong. Let’s start with women, so we can understand ourselves. In next week’s show, we will talk about how to succeed in love and the secrets to have men say “there is something special about her”. As women, we can use understanding ourselves, to understand men. The biggest mistake that women make is that we dishonor ourselves. We are so instinctually compelled to be pleasing and appealing and agreeable and likeable in order to survive, that we sell ourselves out all the time. This is where we will start. Alison did not intend to “understand women” in her journey, but it happened in the process. And then men started begging for her help to help them understand women. They so want to connect with us. They adore us and are mystified by us. We are magic creatures to them, and we can absolutely drive them crazy and bring out the worst in them. Part of the confusion is that every woman is at least 2 woman, and potentially 4. I think most of us probably already knew this If we’re a morning person or an evening person….that’s one of our personas. It’s a different mood, and mindset and we take experiences depending on that mood. Then our hormones levels determine who another persona is, as it has a tremendous effect on our emotions. Perimenopause and menopause bring out different personas in us. So we grow through different stages of “women” throughout our days and our entire lives. Depending on how much estrogen we have, will determine how quickly we can switch out our system, the hunter operating system or the gathering operating system. Women are both hunters and gatherers and we can switch from one to the other in a moment’s notice, depending on how we’re perceiving the world. Effects everything we think, do and speak without even realizing we’ve switched over. What determines what system we’re in is whether or not we are committed or uncommitted. What matters is our intention on a specific result, specific goal, destination, feeling, etc. that fires up the hunter operating system. It’s a system that is committed and focused and usually has a deadline attached to it. Both men and women hunt. Most men AND women are in hunting mode most of the time. Women try to be everything, to be perfect at it all. Whereas men tend to focus on their strengths. Women’s success in business has everything to do with our learning to be a part of a team and respecting other’s people roles in that team, instead of trying to do it all ourselves. This is when we’re in hunting mode. We are focused, build on people’s strengths and have deadlines. How do we switch from being in hunter mode to being in gatherer mode when we go home from work? Part of hunting mode is deciding what other people need and going about providing in without checking. A part of being a mom is being a hunter, because there are deadlines involved. In gatherer mode time shifts. It’s a natural and spiritual connection that happens. We see and feel things, and this is when men describe women as magical. This right here…is the key! To have the best relationships, we have to start with you first. Honor yourself first, then honor others. How do you define your best self? How much am I a better person when I’m in gathering mode? And how can I bring the gatherer to the workplace? Let’s build gathering mode into our day…plan for something to take twice as long as it usually should so we can take the time to connect with the man in our life. It needs to be decided who is the biggest and strongest in a relationship, and that person should lead. But we may not agree who that person is. And this is where the conflict comes in. That’s why getting on the same page is so important. In next week’s podcast episode, we will discuss understanding men. But before we do that, make sure to take the time to listen to this episode a few times and take in Alison’s information. This only graces the tip of the iceberg when it comes to Alison’s work and to get a full understanding of who you are as a woman, and a full understanding of men, so ultimately, you can have the best relationship. If you are interested in fully understanding yourself and/or understanding men, we HIGHLY recommend Alison’s programs. Published on Aug 10, 2017

ACU highly recommends all of Alison Armstrong’s works. Get them today!